I am extremely glad I went home. With the food poisoning, and various other things that went wrong during the voyage there I thought life was telling me I shouldn't be going but it wasn't true. Once I reached Iowa I knew that there was no where else I should be. With that said, I was still really happy to be going back to China. Lately I had been homesick a lot so I was worried that I might not want to go back, but that didn't happen. At home I missed my friends back in China and missed traveling around the city and being a part of my school. This is the mat in the elevator up to my room at school and it was the first thing I saw that made me think 'I'm back in my China home again' with a smile.
On the 27th I headed back for my other home - China. I only had to take two flights on the way back which was nice and watched four movies on the longer one. What was even better was that I brought with me a suitcase of clothes and American food that I could transport easily.
My last night at home, Dad, Carol, Matt and I went out and played Bridge. It was great!! Matt and I of course didn't do very well, but we never do playing with each other so it was ok. We had fun just playing the game. Plus a number of the bridge players in the area that I know were there too so it was nice to say hi.
I even got to see it snow!! I was super excited that I ended up not missing out on an entire year of the beautiful white flakes coming from the sky. I did let Jenny and Alli know I was home and got to see each of them which was really nice. Jenny and I went to a favorite local Coney Island and got non-China hot dogs and then went to the movies. Alli and I went out to eat as well and it was wonderful catching up and eating good food.
Most of my time back in Michigan I just stayed home. I knew that if I put out a message that I was back that I would just be jumping from place to place trying to see everyone in such a short time. Instead I spent some very quality time at home. I got to gorge out on a lot of tasty American food, watch TV in ENLISH, and play with our cat, Georgia.
The next day the four of us headed back up to Michigan. Though I was home for a very sad occasion, I was happy to be in America for a bit. I even got to borrow my car from Matt for a couple days and drive around.
The funeral was very nice. The family lives in a small town and almost everyone from the town seemed to come. Nick had been an Eagle Scout and his whole trip showed up as well and did a small ceremony for him. You could see how many lives Nick had been a part of. Wade and I talked for awhile after and we agreed that we understood Nick was gone but we still couldn't wrap our minds around the idea that he wouldn't be at Thanksgiving or Springbrook (our summer family reunion) this year. Maybe it will never seem true that he is gone.
I landed in Detroit at 11pm on Sunday and we left for Iowa at 6am on Monday. It was Mom, Dad, Matt and I for the road trip. We made it into town about halfway through the private family viewing. We walked in to a room with almost all of our extended family members there, ready with hugs. Before the open viewing started we all sat in a circle telling stories of Nick. It was a terrible occasion to be together, but despite the sad event we were all laughing. Nick had been such a character and had brought light to so many of our lives that we couldn't help but smile at the memories. My favorite story of Nick, that I still laugh at today is about a pumpkin. See, my Grandpa is a very stern old man and as a young kid he could be the scariest person you knew. Definitely not a person to make made or to cross. Well when Nick was really little he went up to Grandpa and just stared at him for a bit. As a kid he was confused. Grandpa seemed to have regular sized arms and legs but he had this great ol belly and Nick couldn't figure it out. So finally Nick got up the nerve and said "Grandpa, do you have a pumpkin under your shirt?". Now I know this story probably isn't funny to you because you don't know our Grandpa the way we did, but trust me, it's a hilarious story.
Once the open viewing started most of the family drifted to different parts of the building to give Julie and Todd time to talk with the attendees, which there were a ton of. Dad had asked me to take pictures for him so my cousin Wade and I went around to accomplish the task. I wasn't sure it was a polite time to be taking pictures so Wade would get some people to talk to him to distract them and then I would take a candid shot of them. It worked perfectly. The younger cousins all found a play room and dragged my brother in to entertain them. After everyone left we went back to Julie and Todd's house for dinner and to keep them company. I can't imagine the feeling that those two had when everyone left and they were alone again.
March 19th brought me what all of us fear while in China - the news that a loved one has passed away. The day started out really well. The "family" had stayed up in Longgang then I went to tutor and then it was off to the G/Jens for dinner and game night to celebrate Cliff's birthday. I had created a game for the occasion and was working on the computer most of the time putting in final touches. I can't even think about what would have happened if I had taken a moment to check my email at that time. The night ended well and Andrew and I headed home at a decent hour. Once back in my room I opened my gmail account to a message from my Dad entitled "Very bad news". My cousin Nick had died the day before at the age of 23, possibly from a drug overdose. Writing this now I still can't fully believe it is true and am crushed from the loss. My father's side of the family is very fortunate because we have all made an effort to stay close over the years even though we're spread across the country. Nick and I were part of the older cousin group and had always been close during family reunions. This year Nick and I did even better with staying in touch, we communicated through Facebook once or twice a week talking about life, books, family, and random thoughts we decided to share. I got a chance to learn about his time at school, some of his friends, and his dreams of the future.
I always wondered how I would react if someone close to me died unexpectedly. I usually decided I probably wouldn't cry and I would just be in a daze. I've never been an extremely emotional person and if I ever get that way most of my emotions just shut down till I feel nothing. I was wrong. The moment I opened that email the tears started flowing. I cried more than I think I ever have in my life, until there were no more tears to shed. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't home. I wasn't with my family. All I knew was I had to find a way to change that, to make the journey home so I could be with them and be there to support Nick's parents and brother as well as be supported by our large family.
I spent the next couple hours (between 11pm and 2am) calling different family members trying to figure out what was going on and if all of this was true; booking a plane ticket; informing my school I was leaving; and figuring out everything else that needed to happen to travel across the world. From opening that email to making it to Mom's house in Michigan was probably the worst 24 hours of my life. After finishing preparations, I went to sleep for a few hours before I had to leave. At about 430am (a half hour before my alarm was supposed to go off) I woke up from the need to throw up. It turned out I had food poisoning for the first time since I've gotten to China. I ended up throwing up 6 times before I boarded my first flight. So now awake I decided to leave early and made my way to the airport in Hong Kong. I flew from HK to Tokyo to Newark. In Newark I had a couple hour layover so my friend Dana who lives in NJ came to visit me. It was great to see her and nice to just have a friendly face for a bit. Then I took the last flight from there to Detroit where my mom and brother were waiting. On the drive home I found out that my dog Mickey, who we had had since I was eight and was more like a sibling than a pet, had died a few weeks ago. It was not a fun time. But I had made it home and that was all that mattered.
My heart goes out to my Aunt Julie, Uncle Todd and cousin Lee. The thought of what they must have gone through and what they are still going through is overwhelming. What it must be like to lose a son, a brother, I don't think anyone can know that pain until they experience it themselves. Nick had his problems, as everyone does, but overall he was a wonderful guy. He was caring to a point that was unbelievable, he was smart and intellectual, he was funny, he was adventurous, he was Nick. The world is a sadder place without him.
I want to send a thank you out also to Jessica, for talking with me and supporting me through everything, to Brian, for being an understanding boss, to my Mom and Uncle Wade for helping me pay for plane tickets, to my Dad for taking me to Iowa and being there, and to my friends in China for their emails of love.
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